Good Advice From Jonathan Franzen

It was December 2004 and I had decided I was going to be a writer. My birthday was coming up, and I had recently begun work on a collection of short stories for publication that would fail on all accounts shortly in the future. I was 18, it was my third semester at college and I was going out with this girl that would become my wife just two years later. The world was my oyster and I was overly arrogant and self-assured about everything I did. I was so sure I would be the youngest writer to win the Nobel Prize and an Oscar for a screenplay, and a Grammy for my soundtrack, and so on in the common tradition of twentysomething’s delusions of grandeur.

So picture this wide, blue-eyed, boy getting his chance to shake hands with a real writer, the same kind of person he wants to be some day. He’s so excited to see a real writer in the flesh, someone who’s won awards, and more specifically someone who had won the National Book Award. Of all places, the writer was coming to Fresno, and his name was Jonathan Franzen. The boy was ecstatic to get a glimpse of what his life might be like someday.

The boy and his girlfriend arrived early to get good seats. The boy clutched a brand new copy of The Corrections in his hands, the spine still stiff, the pages only skimmed.

Franzen came out and read one of his New Yorker pieces, which the boy enjoyed and knew this was someone he should listen to. After the reading, there was a Q and A with audience and throughout the Q and A, the boy went back and forth deciding whether or not he trusted Franzen’s opinions about being a writer.

At one point, Franzen spoke about how he hardly read anymore because he could usually anticipate the book’s plot-turns and storyline. At the time, the boy in the audience had read very little. He wondered if becoming a writer meant losing the motivation to read novels, books, poetry, etc. At another point, someone asked if he’d ever be interested in working on a graphic novel adaptation of his book, and whether he had any interest in the medium. Franzen responded saying that he had no interest in graphic novels and saw them as a passing fad with little substance. The boy was crushed. Had all those years spent reading comics, and Alan Moore, and Frank Miller been for naught? Were they trash?

At the end of the Q and A, the boy walked over to book signing line still deciding what to make of Jonathan Franzen. Was this what all serious writers became? Did they all lose interest reading new books? Did they all think comics were a passing fad? If he chose to be a writer, was this his fate? He wouldn’t find answers to those questions that night and certainly not before he came face to face with Jonathan Franzen. And when it was the boy’s turn to have his book signed he was so excited that all those questions that had been spinning around his mind fluttered away and he was overcome with that overflowing optimism, best shown in the picture from the University’s coverage of the event.

The boy blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “I’m going to be a writer. Do you have any advice for me?”

Franzen looked up and saw the boy’s earnestness and paused for a moment, considering his reply and said, “Don’t do it; once you become a writer you’ll have to write for the rest of your life, and you might be better off doing something else like becoming a doctor or a lawyer, or something. But if you do become a writer then I wish you the best of luck.” The boy perplexed, still mentally digesting everything, requested Franzen, “Could you write that down for me?”

Franzen chuckled, “The whole thing?”

“Yeah,” The boy laughed.

(Flash from camera to the left)

He paused, “How ‘bout…” Franzen speaking and writing simultaneously now: “Don’t. do. It. And, Good. Luck. Frowny face. Smiley face.”

“Thanks,” The boy said and shook the author’s hand, still not knowing what to make of the entire experience.

It’s been six years since then and like a zen koan, those words have echoed in the back of my mind. It wasn’t until after I had finished writing my first book that I began to understand a little of what Franzen’s advice to me meant. Don’t bother looking for the book; it doesn’t exist outside my office bookshelf. It was your typical first-novel that took six months and ran a little over a 150 pages. I pitched the book to every literary agent and publisher with an email address I could find, and every small press as well. And of the hundreds I pitched the novel to, 42 asked to see the first few pages, after which, all 42 said they were not interested.

I had spent six months of my life, and who knows how many hours, creating something that bore no financial-fruit whatsoever. And those delusions of grandeur faded with the book’s monumental failure. It wasn’t too long after receiving the last rejection for the book that I realized what it meant to me to be a writer. And I answered that question that all young writers ask themselves at one point or another, “How do you know if you’re a writer?”

My answer: “You know you’re a writer, when you spend half a year working every day on a book that’s rejected by every publisher on this earth, and after all that rejection, you can’t wait to start writing your next book, your next short story, or whatever. That’s when you’re a writer.”

And so despite all the circumstantial evidence that pointed to that fact that I was a lousy writer, it didn’t matter, I was going to write anyway. And I think that’s what Franzen was talking about too. Once you become a writer, it’s something you’ll be compelled to do for the rest of your life, whether you’re good at it or not. Franzen knows this because he’s a writer, and whether he likes it or not, he’ll be writing for the rest of his life, even if his later work isn’t successful or even published. It doesn’t make a difference to him.

For a long time when I reflected on Franzen’s words, all I could hear was him saying, “DON'T’ DO IT. You’re wasting your life kid.” But now that I’m a writer, I hear his “atta-boy” encouragement, “I wish you the best of luck.”

And so I pass Franzen’s good advice onto other young writers and authors, “Don’t do it, but if you do, I wish you the best of luck.”

Arnold Bennett Who?

I have an awful knock-knock joke to illustrate my latest project.

-Knock, knock.

-"Who's there?"

-"Arnold Bennett."

-"Arnold Bennett Who?"

-"Exactly."

 

A common thread, both in my life and my website, is that I enjoy telling other people about stuff that I really like. I don't think I'm alone in this characteristic, I think most people tell their friends about the movies that they like, the bands that they just got into and such.

But I'm eccentric and so when I say I'm into this band or reading this book by this guy, I usually get a response of "What?" or "Who?", which is great, because I love sharing new stuff with people, just as much as I enjoy people turning me onto things that I had never heard of before.

So back to the joke, "Arnold Bennett who?", "Exactly."

I came across Bennett's work while digging through public domain for exercises for my first book. I came across a series of books he'd written on subject of "how to write", and for me "How to Write" books are something of an addiction, a compulsion, a must have collector's item, etc. I've read several "How to Write" books, many bad, some good, some exceptional, some life-changing.

Arnold Bennett's book The Truth About An Author, is Bennett's autobiography at a time in his life just prior to him achieving the great literary legend that we've come to labe him as. The work is something akin to reading the autobiography of The Beatles just prior to the recording of Sgt. Pepper, or Springsteen's Born to Run. At this point in Arnold Bennett's life, he had acheived a significant amount of success, so much so that he thought that he might have reached the top. Little did he know the best things he'd write and be known for, were just around the corner.

Seeing that the book had been out of print for some time, I took it upon myself to update it properly giving it a nice cover and updating the spelling into modern American English. The book is in its final stages of production and I am very excited about making it available ot everyone to enjoy again or for the first time.

New Books, New Trailer, Coming Soon...

Hi Everybody!

A little update on what's been going on behind the scenes at KrisMadden.com.

Heart of Darkness is nearly finished being reformatted for use in practice reading. The text will look similar to the text found in the "Dishabituation" chapter in Learn To Speed Read.

I'm also working on editing and re-releasing Arnold Bennett's book Truth About An Author. Arnold Bennett was good friends with H. G. Wells and is considered to be one of the greatest English novelists of the late 19th-early 20th century.

The book is his autobiography on his literary career and what it meant to be a writer in around the turn of the century. Before wikipedia, or computers, in a time when the typewriter was the latest greatest office machine, Bennett gives readers a look into how he came to be a writer and what he hoped to achieve with his work.

It's been out of print for quite some time, and the editions that are available still have the old English spellings like "humour" and "colour" and "practise". So I've gone through the entire text and updated the spelling and done a little reformatting for clarity, but no edits have been made to change the author's work, only to further enhance it.

 

The poster is a pretty blatant hint about what the new speed reading trailer will spoof off of. I'm actually more of a Return of The Street Fighter fan, than I am of the first film, either way Sonny Chiba is just plain cool. Got to get back to work, take care everyone.

 

- Kris Madden

Paperback Is Now On Sale!

  • Write a 100-original-word review about my book (good or bad, doesn't matter, as long as it's honest)
  • Post it online, anywhere available to the public, and provide a link to my site: krismadden.com
  • Send me a link to your post through the Contact Form on this website, with your name and email
  • I'll verify the word count and make sure the writing hasn't been copied from another post
  • If everything's checks out, I'll send you a secret code
  • Go to my store and enter the code when you checkout
  • Ta-Da! You get the book for 12.99
Read More

Happy Halloween! and Book Updates

Hi Everyone,

Just one more day until the store opens and my book "Learn To Speed Read" is available.

Upon taking on the project of writing this book, my goal was to not make it like all of the speed reading books that I had read through. Originally the book, wasn't even going to be a book, but a pamphlet, of about 10 pages. I wanted teach people some fundamentals and then be done with it.

And then I thought I could add on exercise booklets to purchase, and I could charge for those, and slowly the project went from being a central core work to a series of disassociated parts. I thought, "My God! I'm turning into one of those programs with the 5 DVD, 7 audio CD, and 40 book encylcopedia on Super-Subsonic Secret to Successful Speed Reading" And I stopped.

The book became bigger, and grew from 10 pages to 100 pages. And after it was put together the book felt light. That's not to say that it was all fluff, but rather, it didn't feel complete, it needed more. So I restructured the book and dived deeper into the lessons and exercises in the book.

It's finished now with a grand total of 366 pages, with all the fat trimmed off, from its original 400 page format. It's designed as a six-week course in speed reading methods and techniques. I look forward to sharing it with everyone come Monday.

Have a great Halloween everybody!

 

-Kris Madden

In The Works

To be honest, the attention that my old speed reading videos have garnered has surprised me. I made them about five years ago and then switched from being a tutor to a vocational case manager for the special ed. dept. and hadn't thought about them in a while.

You can imagine my surprise when I went to read Lifehacker at the end of a long week, and there was I was staring right back at me. I really had no idea that the videos were helping so many people. But the information is all scattered about on the internet, which makes finding the content hard to find.

I built this site so that people could find all the information in one place. Even though it is merely a skeleton now, I am working on fleshing it out with exclusive content. There will be more lessons, exercises, videos, etc. to come in the near future.

I am also working on  a workbook that outlines an entire course taking the student from an average reader to a superior speed reader. I hope everyone enjoys what I've been working on.